“The Emotional Growth Course” with Raman

The following are notes taken from the Emotional Growth Course with Raman

Week 1 Emotional Growth Course

Trying to live without being emotional in this world is like trying to live without breathing.

If you respond now to what is happening in the current, you are putting rest to the past. You are healing the past in your response to the now.

If you do not give your fullest attention to your emotions, then this will hold you back. So every time you are with yourself, every time you are with another and seek intimacy, seek closeness, you will be faced with what you have put aside.

Growth is a process of change. Change is growth in process.

Support, not protection. Take emotional responsibility. Respond to your Self.

The following are extracts from the exercise Raman lead us through. Please make use of this for yourself.

  • What is your biggest emotional button currently?
  • How did you get there? What brought you to this emotional place?
  • Name one negative emotion, reaction.
  • How often do you feel this?
  • Why did you think you needed to do this?
  • What would be the better alternative?

Homework: Practice asking these questions through the week. You will be given the opportunity.

And remember you are welcome to ask Raman for his support.


Week 2 Emotional Growth Course

What is in constant motion, constant fluctuation in you and in the world around you?

Notice your breath, the currents of air, the rise and fall of the ocean. There is always movement and motion happening. It is the constant of life.

Realise Dear Hearts, your feelings and emotions will also rise and fall. It is important to go with how you feel.

At first you may feel they will get worse. That you are jumping into deep water where you don’t want to go. But realise you have great capacity to take in what the world has to offer.

Do you believe that it is best to avoid going low? That you should avoid these things taking you over? Acknowledge how the acceptable limits set by society affect you.

What happens when life happens to you and around you and you cannot control these things? Again, be prepared to go into the depths of what you feel.

This is not for the timid Souls. I am going to teach you how to really step into life. I will not make this safe for you.

You are either rising or falling constantly. It is important to be aware of what is happening to you at any moment. And don’t fight what is real. Don’t fight what is happening. Go with it.

What is the worse thing that will happen to you if you give in, if you surrender?

For when you try to ‘handle’ or pull away from how you feel, your emotions cannot move through you. And it is vital they do, to help keep your emotional and mental balance.

If you resist going down you will get stuck there and will not be able to move up until you surrender, until you surrender into how you feel. Stop resisting!

Because until you allow yourself to come to terms with how you feel you will not know what to do about it.

Get Real; you have permission to say how it is in that moment.

Stop and check; whose values are you living from?

It is a very aware and intelligent Soul that is prepared to be acknowledging of self and others.

The more prepared you are to be deeply feeling, the more deeply you will live.

We are here to be in the experience of life. You cannot control what comes along but you can be open, porous, to move with it and it through you.

When you resist your feelings and emotions your energy becomes heavier, more dense. We are not here to be dense but to manifest our light, our spirit. Which allows us to become more present.

It is important to stop projecting into the world the things you are afraid of. In the face of challenge are you prepared to say, 'What can I do?' Or do you run and hide?

Do you see a challenge being there for you to fight and overcome, or for you to learn, to grow, to stretch yourself?

Exercise: Think of one of the most loving people you know.

  • How did they get there?
  • From what part of Self does a loving Soul draw from?

The more you go with the ups and the downs, the more you learn your capacity. You lose your fear of the down. You learn what allows the up and you learn it is as inevitable as the in and the out breath.

You learn there is a constant. And that constant is you. Learning, emoting, experiencing.

Know - How - You - Are - Feeling!

Your reactions to life will be determined by how much you know about yourself, the skills you have learnt from engaging emotionally.

Again, let your emotions move through you. Let yourself move through them. But do not identify too much with your emotions. Do not become attached. Remember that: This too will pass. But importantly, what allows it to pass?

Question: Why are we so often so scared of what others think of us?

Answer: Because we all want to feel loved and accepted. We learnt when we were young when we were good, we felt accepted and felt we belonged. As children we where not told our feelings mattered and counted. What mattered and counted was that you did as you where told.

Acknowledge the feelings in your children. But more of a gift, acknowledge them in yourself.

Homework: How willing are you to go up and down? No preferences. No projections. Just a willingness to go up and down, to discover your rhythm, to allow.

Sometimes you have to go really deep in order to get the fullness of the information. Be prepared. Be willing to find out how deep it goes. Don’t cry over being emotional. Don’t get upset with being upset. You have to know where you are really at emotionally. Then ask what is it about? Then look to see where this fits in your reality. If you are feeling the way you are feeling. There is a reason. There is a cause.

Also realize you really need to know how to fill up. Remember a really wonderful emotional moment that touched you, that lifted you.

Remember emotional growth goes all ways.


Week 3 Emotional Growth Course

Dear Hearts, the make-up of your life is the experience of that which is eternal and that which is transitory. You are eternal. The spark that you are. Your divine essence. Your feelings and emotions are transitory, moving through you and bring with them experience.

Your experiences that are known, that are felt in the moment, can add to your growth. If these experiences are not completed or dealt with, they become baggage or energy held on a conscious or unconscious level, always seeking completion.

How you deal with these feelings is vital. But, if the experiences have been negative there is usually a desire to get away from how they have left you feeling.

What is really negative is reacting to what feels negative in your experience.

How do you know what you are dealing with, what you are feeling? This will be governed by how good you have become at protecting yourself. How good you have become at putting the walls up, not feeling too much of life, nor too much of yourself.

Others will feel wide open, constantly exposed. Feeling so sensitive to every experience of life they feel they have no choice, no control.

It is ideal to be wide open but not without knowing what you are experiencing and choosing to take on your experiences consciously.

This is all about choosing and making a decision based on what is inside of you - what is you.

And this is where it takes courage, Dear Hearts: To be the individual, the free thinker, to do things differently. To be one who is prepared to say how you feel.

Can you choose to work with your experience, to not make it about you? But to learn to say, ‘What can I do about this?’ ‘How can I respond?’ To say ‘Yes’ to change.

This does not mean life cannot be good. It invites life to become real. It is really important not to judge what you feel and know that your feelings are there for a reason. You decide if they are reasonable or not.

If you are over-emoting, who do you need to heal this? Who do you need to see how you feel?

Many of you will find that it is easier to get acknowledgement and attention if you do well in things. So what you judge is not acceptable, is not wanted; you hide, you push away.

Really consider the range of emotional feeling you have. What you allow yourself to have. Really acknowledge the feelings you have within you.

Think about the feelings you really enjoy. Really let yourself feel how your body responds even to the memory to what you enjoy. Let yourself feel this, surrender to this.

Because of how full and busy your lives are, it’s important too, that there is a difference between overriding your feelings and allowing yourself to identify where you can stay with the feeling. Do what needs to be done. Then in the next moment of space take care of your self and your needs.

Understand you may also avoid emotions because you have experienced the powerlessness of what really aggressive projected emotion brings.

Physical pain is connected to emotional pain. Pain is communication; it is asking you to attend to what needs to change. If you let yourself really feel the pain it will trigger and release the memory and emotion held within it.

So really listen to what your body says so it can release the memory. It maybe that no one acknowledged what really happened, what really hurt. Your learning maybe to really open, to ask for this acknowledgment.

The feelings as they come to the surface can become quite intense. But you don’t have to fear they will take you there again.

There is no need to get things right all the time. This is a condition of the mind that does not leave much room for you.

Homework: Every time you think something, ask yourself how does that feel? How would it feel?

Now feel it!

Practice stretching your emotional repertoire.

Week 4 Emotional Growth Course

This week’s focus has been on the absolute importance of taking care of yourself.

Taking care of yourself is very important, particularly in how you use your emotional energy. This process invites you to accept, not judge how you feel. To understand there are ways to ease your emotional energy.

Being angry at yourself, resisting how you feel or trying to have a feeling in one way is like trying to breathe in without breathing out, trying to live without sleep. So choosing to consciously respond to your feelings is vital. If you don’t, your feelings will dominate until their needs are met.

Fearing how you feel is something akin to being in denial of how you feel. To be in denial of how you feel takes a lot of energy. So anything you want to feel differently about will ask a response from you for this change to occur. Remember Dear Hearts, change is not outside of you; the answers are not outside of you.

You need to ask, ‘What is needed to be done?’ Even if you did not create the situation, you have choice. By asking the ‘How’ question, you open yourself to this choice. How did I get to this place? How can I change this?

You don’t get there by focusing on the problem. Name the problem, then ask; ‘How do you get to where you want?’

Ask questions of yourself: ‘What do I need to do to support myself more?’

If you don’t turn to yourself in support of yourself, you will end up feeling down right disappointed in others because, they either won’t know, won’t care or won’t understand. You will need to educate. You will need to speak up.

But if you are caught up consciously or otherwise in trying to protect yourself, trying to ensure, ‘This dose not happen again’, parts of you are already busy. Busy in building the protection, so not all of you is free to create what you want. This is often why a learning seems to repeat itself.

The more you are ready to respond to yourself. The more you take care of yourself. The less intense the emotions or pain needs to be. And the less you will feel you are repeating learning.

Each time you encounter experiences in your day you are given opportunity to support yourself. If you don’t take the first opportunity to respond. Take the second. If you do not, you will begin setting up a pattern that only becomes harder to change the more you leave it.

Stop and check; how are you taking care of yourself? If you are not getting enough sleep, enough rest, enough nutrients, this will limit you energetically. Leaving you very narrow corridor of room to move.

How well do you take care of yourself? How much sleep do you need? If you are working with a lot of emotion you will indeed need nine hours, ten hours even twelve hours for recovery time.

There is much wisdom in the saying from all cultures.

Sleep on it!

It is important not to skip what is vital to your emotional well-being. Sleep is at the top of your list. In cases of stress you will need a lot more time. Sleep becomes vital because there is such a lot of recovery in the alpha and beta states. Not the least is allowing your hormones to settle to a more balanced level.

Your diet plays a big part. Ensure your body has the right nutrition. This regulates the hormonal and chemical levels especially in your thyroid gland.

It is futile to push yourself to work through your emotional problems when you are exhausted. Conversely don’t pull back or withdraw either. You know when you need to work with what’s in front of you.

If you are not in charge of your life you will want to be in control. If you are not in charge, you may believe your feelings and emotions will take over.

You will restrict and inhibit how you feel about yourself if you hold onto what might be the worst if you support yourself. Remember: if you do what is right for you, then what is right for you will happen. But this risks what you believe in, what you trust, what you put faith in.

You will have to trust an unknown outcome. You will have to trust what will feel right to you.

The real mark of an aware Soul is that you are prepared to do what is right because this is honourable and true to yourself.

This asks you to test what you believe about life.

Be available to let the world help you.

If you don’t do what is right because you are afraid. You will lose - income, lovers, contact etc. You compromise and cost yourself.

Another important part of caring for yourself emotionally, is being able to express and share your feelings with someone. Someone you trust so you can express and articulate, so you can feel what you carry and that you don’t feel you carry this all on your own.

Take care of yourself

Take care of your response to yourself

This I cannot emphasize enough.

If you are holding onto how you are ‘meant to be’, or how life is ‘meant to be’ then you will get stuck.

This does not mean you cannot have what you want. But it will take time to get through the layers of your mind if you come from there.

The greatest thing for your emotional well-being is remembering your origin. Remembering where you are from, remembering to feed your spirit.

Do what ever you need to do to keep in touch with this energy.