My Story of Spirit and of my Teacher Raman
Dear Friends of Raman Pascha, I am beginning a story about my journey to meeting Raman and our work over the years.I have received many requests over the years and thought that a Blog style of writing with regular additions here over time may work well. I intend to do this a little at a time beginning at my earliest memories of Spirit.
These are my memories and may sometimes differ from those of my Parents and siblings. This is how we feel and view our life. Through our own experiences.
I hope you will enjoy my words and as I begin I invite you to feel my words as I endeavour to write with the feelings and memories of my life journey so far.
You feedback will always be welcome. Please be kind! It is always vulnerable to share what has been a very different life from many.
Love Yasmeen x
I was born on a Saturday September 17th 1960 in Dunedin New Zealand.
My earliest conscious memory is of becoming aware of a sound and my Mothers presence standing nearby waiting to see if I would go back to sleep. I realised the sound was coming from me. I could also hear a beating sound inside my ear and this lulled me back to sleep.
I also became aware of other presence around me, watching, whispering and generally supportive. This was often a comfort but many times it felt scary because I did not know who they were. Or I could not at that point remember why they were there. Before I could walk I remember sitting on the kitchen floor which was a lino with gold flecks in it. My Mother was peeling carrots for the dinner while listening to the Archers on the radio. I had toys around me that I was picking up, tasting and dropping to the floor. I looked up towards the kitchen door and saw a Woman standing in the doorway looking at me. She looked quite stern. Her hair was pulled back behind her head and she wore a long dark dress with long sleeves and white lace trim around her neck. I scooted over to the door on my bottom and pushed the door shut. My Mother turned around and growled because I had slammed the door. I felt guilty for slamming the door and also for shutting it on this Woman who had been standing there. My Mother was unaware of her presence who I later learned as I grew older was a great Aunt of mine Maryanne. She has often been around me when I have needed her support. I spoke to my Mother about this memory years later as an adult and she remembered it. She always listened to the Archers on the radio when she got the dinner ready!
When I was 3 years old my Sister arrived and we moved to a new house in Dunedin where I was born. It was an 1870’s blue stone house with a history! I immediately felt the house was full of people and not all of it felt comfortable. I was very sensitive and remember struggling to sleep that first night even though my Sister and I were in the same room as our parents. Spirit people were moving about in the room!
It was the beginning of a very intensive period of spiritual experiences. From seeing people that surrounded my bed at night to my Mother telling me there was no one there even though I was pointing at them! I am sure I called out to my parents a lot at night because someone was distressing me in my room. I learned to somehow live my life surrounded by spirits and avoid being on my own too much! Once I was school age I would arrive home from school, stand at my bedroom door and throw my bag onto my bed and run for the lounge! I always felt if I was there on my own they would want to talk to me or not let me out of my room. They would walk behind me anyway through the house and I would always feel that it was beyond my control. Sometimes they were very beautiful people who would glow with light. At other times they would be ordinary people that no one else could see, that wanted something form me. They knew I could see them and they always tried to get my attention. Sometimes they were very unhappy and it upset me. Sometimes they looked wounded or unwell. I didn’t want to talk to them because I was only a child and felt distressed and alone by their presence around me. At times I felt very frightened and alone with no one who understood what I was seeing or feeling. There was also a very bright and strong energy that I felt nearby, that I knew was looking after me but I also avoided because I felt it meant something would happen. I wasn’t sure what might happen but I didn’t wait to find out! I began to avoid anything that made me more different than I already felt. That included getting curious about what I saw and why.
One day I remember looking in the mirror and realising I was light haired and had blue eyes! I was so shocked by this because i knew myself as being dark haired and certainly not light skinned! This was who I was this lifetime and it really struck me in that moment that this life was to be different from any others I had experienced. A strong feeling that had no words stayed with me after that and meant I felt how I saw life was not the same as others my age saw or thought about.
At the age of 7 I started to go to the local Sunday school but it felt too much like school and the teacher was stern and not friendly at all. So I took myself to Bible class . I was much too young to remember psalms and get a star on my blue card. They tolerated me but soon I would get up every Sunday morning, put on my best dress and shoes and walk to the local Presbyterian church. I loved the church stained glass windows and the hymns. I could not read the hymn book but would hum along with everyone else. I enjoyed the harvest festival and all celebrations. The Minister was home one day when I came from school and he had asked if my Mother was sending me to church on my own every Sunday. Of course it was my own calling to be in this energy that got me up early every Sunday to be with some of the people I saw there. It was not until the past few years that I realised the people who had smiled at me had a certain glow about them and of course we not living breathing people but Souls connected to those who went to the church. I always felt a connection to those beautiful smiling Souls and it made me feel loved. They didn’t frighten me at all.
My early childhood was filled with an awareness of more than others could see, hear or feel. I recall standing on a low brick fence in the wind trying to show my friends how to fly! I knew we could fly and move fast without our body and often felt that sensation in myself each day. Along with a sensitivity to how others were feeling and whether their words matched the energy I felt in them. I soon learned that what I felt was always real and true and trusted it more than what anyone told me. My awakening began very young and has grown more and more over time. It has not always felt a happy thing to have but has shown me how to understand what is happening around me. Not being affected by the feelings of others has been a challenge as I know it is for many.
One thing that speaks to me clearly from my childhood is how I learned to smile because of the Souls I saw that glowed and felt loving and friendly to me. They showed me how this makes all the difference, all the time and every day.